Inner Fire Therapy

A Nature-Based Therapy Practice for Men

1650 38th St. Suite 100E Boulder CO 80301

Men's Issues

“Something in the adolescent male wants risk, courts danger, goes out to the edge – even to the edge of death.”

What are Men's Issues in Therapy?

I am working with men who: feel lonely in a post Covid world and aren’t sure how to get their need for connection met. Put themselves in risky situations like extreme physical activity so they can feel an adrenaline rush. Use weed to numb out and relax their anxious nervous systems. Get angry and have conflict with their partners and are not sure what they can do differently. Don’t know how to work with their emotions. No longer feel the spark of aliveness around what they’re doing for work. Feel unsure about their sense of purpose.

“The Wild Man doesn’t come to full life through being “natural,” going with the flow, smoking weed, reading nothing, and being generally groovy. Ecstasy amounts to living within reach of the high voltage of the golden gifts. The ecstasy comes after thought, after discipline imposed on ourselves, after grief.”

Where Do These Men's Issues Come From?

These issues stem from a few different things that all go together. As men you’re taught to go up into your head to solve problems. While this might seem helpful in the short term, in the long term it causes you to disconnect from your emotions, your body, yourself, and your relationships. We build the intellect at the cost of our ability to connect. Going up into your head, you leave the present moment, and the sense of aliveness in the here and now. You no longer feel alive, so you need an adrenaline rush or a substance to as crutch so you can feel alive for a moment. 

When feelings arise, they may often seem inconvenient. In reality, this is your system trying to give you information about how you’re doing. These feelings are also part of what it means to be and feel alive. Numbing them out, ignoring, or repressing them in some way is like covering the dashboard in your car. They’re still there, only now you can’t see what they’re trying to tell you.

“Zeus energy, which encompasses intelligence, robust health, compassionate decisiveness, good will, generous leadership. Zeus energy is male authority accepted for the sake of the community.”

How Do You Help with These Men's Issues?

Just like men’s issues are interrelated, the approach to working with them is multifaceted. Here are some of the steps. Get to know yourself. Who are you? What are your gifts? Talents? Unique skills? Is there a way you can incorporate these things into your current job? Is there something else you’d prefer to do instead that would allow you to use these gifts? 

Get familiar with your emotions. Each emotion is there to tell you whether your needs are being met or not being met. Use that information on a moment to moment basis to ask for what you want and get your needs met so you can feel content, fulfilled, and connected. Let go of anything you’re using to numb out to the present moment so you can use your senses to feel the aliveness of the here and now. It’s always available. Discover the skills to work through difficult emotions, relax your nervous system, and come back to the present moment.

Inner Fire Therapy

A Nature-Based Therapy Practice for Men

1650 38th St. Suite 100E Boulder CO 80301

David Redbord, MA, MPH, LPCC

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