A Nature-Based Therapy Practice for Men
1650 38th St. Suite 100E Boulder CO 80301
“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It's a choice.”
You feel judged, criticized or blamed by your partner. As a result you feel angry, shut down, disconnect and withdraw. You’re not sure what to do reconnect. You’re having conflict with your partner, and you’re not sure why so you withdraw. Your needs are going unmet so you feel resentful and frustrated.
"A strong relationship involves choosing to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other."
In our culture, no one teaches men (or women) how to work with with their feelings. When these feelings arise, they can seem like they take up all the space inside. As a result you say things you don’t mean, that might be hurtful. You react, rather than choosing how you’d like to respond. This deepens what is probably already a tense situation, creating more conflict and disconnection. Then you don’t have the tools to dig yourself out of this situation.
Get familiar with your emotions and your needs. Once you’re familiar with those, you can connect more easily with your partner’s feelings and needs. Learn to ask for what you want so your needs can get met. Get comfortable asking your partner about her needs so you can show up in a way that supports connection. Take responsibility your role in the dynamic that exists right now. Once you take ownership of how you’ve been contributing, you can change how you show up to create new outcomes. This lets you move out of powerless and helplessness and into the kind of connection you’re looking for.
"Being loved by someone deeply gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
A Nature-Based Therapy Practice for Men
1650 38th St. Suite 100E Boulder CO 80301
David Redbord, MA, MPH, LPCC
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