Discover the Root Causes of Relationship Issues and How to Resolve Them

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DAVID REDBORD, MA, MPH, LPCC

As a psychotherapist in Boulder, Colorado and a #1 International Bestselling Author, David has helped hundreds of clients feel better and accomplish their goals. 

Does This Sound Like You?

Which Often Leads To…

Infidelity – one of the partner’s being sexual outside the relationship

 

Financial Issues – couples with trouble communicating often don’t talk about money

 

Sexual Difficulties – struggling to connect sexually or getting your sexual needs met.

 

Intimacy Issues – Not feeling emotionally connected with your partner

Relationship Issues Aren’t Limited to Romance

Four different types of relationships:

Relationship difficulties can happen in any of these relationships.

What Really Causes
Relationship Issues?

They happen because your needs or the needs of the other person are not getting met.

How to Work with
Relationship Issues

The key is to get both of your needs met.

 

Let’s look at how to do that in four steps.

 

Get Familiar with Your Emotions

    Get familiar with your emotions, for example, happiness, sadness, anger and fear.

 

     Your emotions are information that tell you how you’re doing and whether or not your needs are being met.

 

     Ask yourself in any given moment: What emotion am I feeling?

 

     This is a way to start to increase your emotional awareness. 

     Ask yourself in any given moment: What emotion am I feeling?

 

     This is a way to start to increase your emotional awareness. 

Get Familiar with Your Needs

For example, these four needs are things that commonly come up in relationships:

 

Consistency. Does my partner do the things that they say they’re going to do?

 

Affection – Am I getting the physical connection that I’d like?

 

Connection – Do I feel emotionally connected to my partner?

Integrity – Is my partner being honest with me? Am I being honest with my partner?

Ask For What You Want

     Once you notice what you’re feeling and needing, be
willing and open to ask for what you want
.

 

     This is where you directly ask to
get your needs.

 

     For example: “Would you be willing to sit with me and listen while I share about this tough experience I had today?

 

     Or: “I noticed you said you’d wash the dishes after dinner, but that hasn’t happened this evening. Would you be willing to wash them tomorrow after breakfast?”

 

Connect with Your Partner

1.     Once you get clear on your feelings and needs, it becomes much easier to empathize and understand your partners feelings and needs more and more.

 

     You can ask your partner about their feelings.

 

    For example: “Hey, it seems like you’re feeling sad? Is that true?”

 

     Or: “It seems like you’re feeling frustrated right now. How come?

 

     Then you can ask them about how you can help them meet their needs.

 

    For example: Would it be helpful if I held your hand while you shared that with me?

 

    Or: “It seems like you’re feeling frustrated right now because you really want me to understand what you’re saying? Could you say it in a different way?”

 

     Or: It “seems like you’re really needing some support right now. What can I do to support you?”

 

Client Success Stories

Aman B.
Unbelievable!
Read More
He helped me get over something unbelievable...my limiting beliefs about money. I couldn't get over them no matter how hard I tried. I no longer have these beliefs. I am in the best place I've been financially for a long time. He is incredible at what he does.
Nemanja M.
Communication Issues
Read More
"He helped me a lot with communication issues with our employees. Those principles can be applied to any relationship in your life. Invaluable."
Dan W.
Overcoming Personal Blocks
Read More
"If you're wondering if you should work with Mr. David Redbord, I cannot recommend this guy highly enough. Removed so many personal blocks that I didn't even realize that I got. Just a wonderful experience with him. Just a wonderful experience with him, taking me to the next level."
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Client Success Stories

Aman B.
Unbelievable!
Read More
He helped me get over something unbelievable...my limiting beliefs about money. I couldn't get over them no matter how hard I tried. I no longer have these beliefs. I am in the best place I've been financially for a long time. He is incredible at what he does.
Nemanja M.
Communication Issues
Read More
"He helped me a lot with communication issues with our employees. Those principles can be applied to any relationship in your life. Invaluable."
Dan W.
Overcoming Personal Blocks
Read More
"If you're wondering if you should work with Mr. David Redbord, I cannot recommend this guy highly enough. Removed so many personal blocks that I didn't even realize that I got. Just a wonderful experience with him. Just a wonderful experience with him, taking me to the next level."
Previous
Next

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